Progressing through Life

In the flash of an eye or the sound of the word memories can come flooding in. No matter how distant a trauma is or how far away it is in your conscious thought; it only takes a tiny thing for the mind to remember. I have had several of these moments lately. One was where I was sitting in my car and I saw someone who looked almost exactly like my 3rd rapist. Part of me was convinced and then I looked closer to realize it wasn’t. In that instance my mind was racing. It wasn’t the first time my mind had gone to those moments. In church the series has been about hope and made me remember some of my darkest moments. I started thinking of myself in the car right after it happened in complete despair believing this is all my life would ever be and wanting it all to end.
The mind is an extremely powerful thing, and learning to become mindful and connected is imperative. In these particular situations there were definitely more relative things that triggered me, but other times not so much. I would say one of my biggest struggles would be connecting emotions and feelings to the actual incident. It is one thing to tell the story and process it verbally, but it’s a whole different ballgame to have those emotions connected while it is being told. I do believe that accomplishing this is extremely important, because without the integrity between the incident and the emotion; emotions will come out sideways. Emotions will come out regardless it just a matter of where and when it does. It definitely is a goal of mine to better connect the two.
On another note I have made positive progress in regards to yoga which was one of the goals that I had mentioned in a previous blog post. I have been going to yoga once a week and it has definitely been good for me mentally and physically. Not to mention it is also been a way for me to bond with my boyfriend; since I dragged him along :-). One of the key things it teaches is how much strength mentally and physically can be built by being still. So often life tells us that in order for us to become stronger and grow we have to move constantly (whether it be physical exercise or mental activity), but it is that constant busyness that can start to actually make us weaker. Failure to give the mind and body a break can end up having negative effects in all aspects of a person’s life.
Yoga reminds me of the lesson that God tries to teach us “Be still and know that I am God”. Today I will take steps to be still and rest in God’s overwhelming grace.

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