Learning to Trust

So this weekend was an event that I was organizing along with a few other people called Rock the Purple. This event was for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The event was a crossfit and zumba event. The goal was to reach a broad spectrum in our event to get optimal awareness. The event was also raising money for a local women’s shelter and toward a memorial fund for a woman who lost their life to domestic violence. Everything in the last week of the event seemed to be falling into place; we had food vendors in place and tons of resource tables to make this event big.  On Friday the day before the event things began to get crazy.

I was organizing the Zumba side of the event and  I was one of the instructors.  I had four instructors in place and by Friday two emailed me to let me know that they would both be unable to attend.  One told me first thing in the morning and the other in the afternoon. It was overwhelming and frustrating, because literally when I found the replacement for one the other one dropped out.  My type “A” personality was struggling, because I was in a place where I couldn’t control things.  I came to a place where I literally needed to let go of what I wanted, and know that how God wants this event to happen that is how it will play out. Easier said then done. I know God has his hands on things, because literally seconds after one instructor bailed another amazing instructor messaged me asking me if I needed help still.  That was amazing…but I was still so scared and paranoid that maybe they wouldn’t show up.  Of course I had my back up plans in place, but I learned that it really isn’t my will, and although I may not understand God had a reason.

All in all the event was successful things may not have played out how I intended, but they went as they were meant to me. The purposes of God are far beyond then what I’m capable of actually seeing. Even if part of that purpose is for me to learn to trust God a little more, and to give people a chance even if they may fail us. I can honestly say I was a little confused on why things happened the way they did, because I have a hard time trusting people and I don’t see how this helped. Maybe the lesson was to pinpoint the perfectionism inside of me, because even though things didn’t run how I wanted them they were exactly as God intended. Even if the intentions were placing one person there at the event who was not going to be there originally. Honestly it could be as simple as a learning moment for me  to stop being so obsessed with control and perfection. I did my part and everything I possibly could and I need to learn to be still and let God do his part.

The truth is no matter what happened, because of obedience to God this event was able to raise close to 1500 dollars for survivors and that is awesome. I know my God is great is teaching me continually even in ways I don’t  see or understand. Although people may have failed me that doesn’t mean I stop giving people a chance, and that is hard for me. In my world I want to control everything, but that is not what God intended. So I will keep taking chances and trust that God has me.

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